Halloween can be an opportunity to face what’s hidden under the mask

For years I dressed up as a “mental health advocate.” But September was suicide prevention month, and despite losing two cousins ​​to suicide, my chance to strengthen it was gone.

Then, in October, I was surprised to learn (too late) that October 1st. 10 is International Mental Health Day. My advocate was once again DOA.

How could I be a ghost in this terrifying moment in humanity – when authenticity, connection and compassion are so desperately needed?

But where to start?

World affairs? Macabre! National politics? Outrageous! State government? Beware!

Local dramas? Gloomy! Family dynamics? Macabre! Everyone has their own private, internal space? Relaxation!

I’m afraid I’m not alone: ​​I secretly gorge on harmful “treats”; manipulating the monsters of our minds; hiding our pain with candied shells – all to avoid something we don’t have the time, energy or resources to deal with.

However, we are haunted by death, illness, injury, divorce, moving, and job loss (the most stressful events in life); but these are things we can count on (ah-ah-ah) to happen to us in one spooky form or another. Through a network of cultures, upbringings, circumstances and beliefs, we strive to develop the resilience we need to survive and emerge from dark and terrifying times.

Instead, we put on superhero masks and push painful emotions deep inside us, away from places where they can distract us and weaken us from our “duties” – whether real, conditioned or imagined.

We have been deceived into believing that our entire character depends on our ability to “Save the Day!” We pretend to the world that we’re holding it all in – that’s fine. As if entering a costume contest, we compete for hearts and likes on social media to prove it.

Disguised and identified with our “character”, we are increasingly afraid to reveal to others – and to ourselves – how vulnerable we are.

So we wrap ourselves like mummies to hide our truth; binding and mutilating ourselves with invisible shame. By fearing stigma, we deceive ourselves.

This does not mean that we should replace the cobwebs of our cognition with more self-sabotage. If in the darkness we muster the courage to look for the truth in the mirror, the mirror on the wall; what we see is not a Bloody Mary, but rather a harsh reality that requires self-compassion.

Many of us are seen as a safe home; a home base and support for our families, at work and/or in our communities. The bills are piling up. Children must eat. Offers must be closed. Reports must be submitted.

Irritated by the fear of failure, we feel forced to make impossible choices. To avoid appearing selfish, we often put others first; by doing so, we bury the critical time and space we need to heal from wearing such heavy, constricting outfits.

Don’t be a zombie

To give earthly form to our potential, we must engage in intense emotional work to process and deal with difficult feelings.

But it’s Halloween and who has time for that? There are so many tempting potions, poisons, witches’ brews and fairy dust that numb us like zombies from pain.

Our addiction to these elixirs is not paranormal.

According to Hawaii Substance Abuse Coalition50% of Hawaii residents suffer from chronic mental health problems such as anxiety, trauma or depression; with depression being the most common behavioral disability in the country.

But at what cost? Our bodies, minds and communities are paying the price, which is nothing short of murder to the public health and criminal justice systems.

But healing is hard work; almost supernatural. It’s much easier to hide under the sheets than to levitate to a higher level; it’s more fun to raid our leftover bags of goodies… only to wake up with hard-to-break addictions, damaged relationships, reduced productivity, ruined finances, debilitating physical and mental symptoms, and a feeling of being trapped – in silence and alone.

We can’t wear masks forever without them spoiling. Untreated symptoms lead to invasive and expensive treatments, the use of complex medications and hospitalization. Many people suffer from an increased risk of suicide – the worst possible suicide.

We can’t wear masks forever without them spoiling.

When things get dark, give yourself grace. Pessimism can be positive. Like a wolf howling at the moon, your primal cries are there to protect you, warn you, and teach you how to seek help. You are in the best position to stop the creep of internal and interpersonal destruction.

Why? Because hurting people hurts people. Without self-reflection, we may direct wicked, emotional, or physical harm at others; creating further networks of trauma, hurt, guilt and disorder.

Finally – friendship, family, community and neighborhood are equally important! Beware of psychologists: Toxic positivity he is cruel – like a scary clown.

So please turn on your lights to let others know it is safe to remove their masks. Because being seen and accepted by others is a real pleasure.