Pete Wicks finally talks about his feelings for Maura Higgins, breaks down after childhood trauma and his mother’s suicide attempt, and reveals in an emotional interview that he “never feels good enough”

Pete Wicks finally discussed his feelings for Maura Higgins in an emotional interview with Paul C. Brunson Podcast “We need to talk”..

The former TOWIE star, 37, became incredibly emotional during the interview as he spoke about his childhood trauma and his mother Tracy’s suicide attempt when he was 12, admitting he “never felt good enough”.

Confessing that his relationship with Maura has recently become more serious, Pete said:We spend more time together than before.

Pete, who started dating Maura last August, added: “Maura and I have known each other for a long time, about six years. We have the same sense of humor, she’s super intelligent, and I think sometimes people don’t realize Maury.

“She’s incredibly witty and over the last six years we’ve always been there for each other from a distance, where we’ve always kind of been friends and supported each other and whatever. And what I mean is that it’s different now.

“We spend more time together than before. I think she’s an amazing person. She was incredibly supportive of me when I was on Strictly and was just as supportive of me when she was in the jungle.

“She’s a great person, so my relationship with her is that I think she’s a great person and I hope she thinks I’m OK.”

“Are you doing great together?” Paul asked.

Pete joked: “Oh I see where we’re going with this Paul, he’s very nicely done. The thing is, me and Maura, like I said, we’ve known each other for a long time and we’ve never gotten along.

“We spend more time together now than before, and you get to know her as a person by getting to know her.

“When people are around me and Maura, it’s pretty cool. There are so many similarities, he is a great person to spend time with and yes, we spend time together.

He added: “I’m in a different stage of my life now where the points that have always stood out to me, which is my relationship or drama and reality, are no longer something I really deal with.

“The reason I say this, and I’m so grateful for all the things I’ve done before, but now I’m private and I’m more vulnerable, is because I’m putting one version of myself out there and that’s why I need to protect that.

“I don’t feel the need to give it to everyone anymore.”

Speaking about childhood trauma, Pete became overcome with emotion as he described the impact his mother’s suicide attempt had on him.

He said: “They (his parents) had been together since childhood, but it was very difficult for her (when they divorced) and my mother struggled with depression and alcoholism, which was too difficult for her. One night she tried to take her own life and I found her. It was difficult.

“I felt like I was responsible, but I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel like my presence was enough to make her want to be there, but I felt responsible for the circumstances of how it happened, I could have stopped it.

“I knew, even though she was so young, that she was drinking and in the wrong place. The evening it happened, she was very upset.

“She told me everything would be fine, I went to my room and heard her crying. I stayed in this room and if I hadn’t stayed (in my room), maybe I could have stopped it. It was a difficult time.

He added: “I never felt unloved, but I just never felt like I was enough. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel loved by my mom or dad, I just felt like I was in the way. They had their own struggles at the time, and I thought, on second thought.

Later in the episode, Pete said he realized he needed help before things got worse after losing his beloved grandma Doreen.

He said: “When I lost my grandmother, I realized I needed help. And I still don’t know what it is, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I need something or everything will get worse.

When asking Pete why he felt like he needed help, Pete replied, “Because I’ve never felt so alone. I think I spend most of my life surrounded by people, but that doesn’t mean you’re not lonely.

“The only thing I could rely on that provided security was my grandmother. And then, when it was pulled out from under you, I just laid on the floor of the bed and thought that even though I was relying on her as my security, at some point I have to be my own security, but I also have to let other people help me.

“Initially, when she died, I closed the business. I don’t think I still mourned that process because I shut it down because I needed it too.

“Even over the last few months, I’m probably sadder about it than ever, but that’s because I’ve started opening up rather than closing down.

“It’s hard because people lose their grandparents, and one thing I hate is arguing at parties. It’s not the worst thing in the world that’s happened to anyone, but it’s the worst thing in the world that’s happened to me.

“I don’t think I’ve grieved or processed it properly, but I’ve started doing it now, three years later, and it’s a very strange feeling. But that’s because I’m in a better position now to be able to deal with it. I’m stronger now than I was then.

Pete also touched on his very public split from Megan McKenna, the entirety of which was aired on The Only Way Is Essex.

Their turbulent relationship became one of the most important topics after it emerged that he had cheated on her.

After years away from the reality show, Pete, who shares a friendly friendship with Megan, said he received death threats and was told to spit in the street after the split.

He said: “I went through this breakup with Megan, everyone knew the details of it. I received death threats every day, people spit on me in the streets, they sent me videos of dolls they made hanging from burning trees. I felt like I was a national hate figure, enemy number one.

But at the time, all I was worried about was Megan and the fact that I had lost her. I felt so guilty. I never wanted to hurt her and of course I did. But the attention it got and what she gained from it, I didn’t know what to do.

“It made me very careful. It made me distrustful of people and made me more private. Then I realize that from that moment on there are two mes. Private and very public.

Pete also revealed the surprising career he had before stepping into the TOWIE spotlight.

The podcast host said: “I became an accountant. When I was 15, I asked my mom to take me to pick up my CV. Then I became one and hated it.

– And someone I knew owned a recruiting firm. I was in London, I put on a suit and I felt good in it. When I was 20/21 years old, I was already earning some money.