The candle is burning for Kevin Sexton, and great dreams for Bills

Imkeller realized that he and his wife Meg would not return home on time to watch the play-off Buffalo Bills-Baltimore Ravens match on television. He called his father -in -law, John Sexton, asking:

“Can you take Kevin’s candle with you and light it?”

John went to the match home to his daughter Erin Weber. The candle is part of a small arrangement on the counter, which the family calls “Kevin Temple”. Mourning advisers suggested to put everything together and light every time Buffalo plays.

Imkeller came to the conclusion that Billom could use Kevin’s help against powerful ravens.

In the “chapel” there are several things summarizing Kevin’s passions: a small Bills helmet in a snowball. Photos from an unforgettable sightseeing trip. Kevin’s label from his long career at the Wegman company, bearing the playful title “Meat God”. The candle, its handle is decorated with the letter “K”.

Every week during matches Bills Sexons light a flame. In the same way as many families – which intertwine the memories of those they love with the annual fate of the Bills – tell themselves that Kevin somehow participates in every key match, in every match.

First of all – because he was here from the very beginning – they have the impression that his presence is associated with this particular season, which raises their emotions in connection with the Sunday match.

Sexons have already passed about two and a half months without Kevin. He was 32 years old, a veteran of the army reserve, who derived great pleasure from long wandering in the mountains of Adirondacks and had a group of long -term friends.

Above all, in the summary of those who loved him, he was a good man.

As an example, his sister – Katie Eichelberger – gives this story. Many families have regular group text messages, and parents and adult siblings merge together. Daily messages contain many reflections, photos and memes about various events, large and small, which often leads to the fact that someone finally responds to this wave of signals:

“Hey everyone. He’s working”.

Sexons behave the same. Their group text messages will sometimes contain an unexpected request for help-for example, when Katie accidentally closed the keys at home. The only way, apart from the call of the locksmith, was to come someone with a ladder and get through the window on the first floor.

She wrote an SMS to her family. Kevin was there. Immediately. He didn’t bother with a ladder. Katie has a film, as he climbed to the outer wall, hanging, holding hands along the shelf, and then reached the lower roof to get up and go inside like Spider-Man.

This was his style, as the family said: he appeared when it was important. Lois Anselm Sexton, his mother – she met her husband John over 40 years ago, when they both lived in Wilkeson Quad at the University of Buffalo – she remembers how Kevin was a child, as he told her this teacher more than half of her son’s class described him as the best friend .

After waking up, in a queue that stretched outside on the autumn afternoon, one of the associates Kevin’s Wegman said Katie: “He always made you feel that what you are saying is important.”

They lost in a way that still seems unbelievable.

Lois hopes – by telling this story – that maybe at least one person who reads it will decide to ask for help.

Sexons raised eight children – Katie, Erin, Colleen, Kevin, Meg, Patrick, Robbie and Molly. There are five son -in -law and daughter -in -law and five grandchildren and everyone is in close contact.

Last year, Kevin – who has always been an optimist and fearless man solving problems – began to confide in his siblings, that he is struggling with difficulties, that he is struggling with despair, that sometimes he has waves of suicide thoughts.

Sexons replied. His sister Erin convinced him to ask for treatment, including hospital care and medicines. Family members had plans for November, which seemed to excite him – including a walk around Manhattan on the weekend on the occasion of Veteran’s Day and a trip to at least one Bills match.

A vigilant family believed that he was doing better, although his parents noticed that they prefer to stay at home than to go out on an October evening with their niece and nephews to carve pumpkins. It was disturbing because he loved such a job.

On October 29, as Katie wrote in a beautiful obituary: “light went out.”

Kevin took his own life.

His dad is a retired engineer from the State Department of Transport. His mother is a nurse. The sadness after losing the fourth child still floats in the air of a crowded kitchen, filled with noisy entrances and outputs of their children and small grandchildren.

Sexons, thinking about the size of their son’s influence – on the legion of people who loved him – have a message. In a worried nation in the face of their problems The highest suicide rate for generationsThey agree that Kevin was the biggest obstacle before Kevin.

His sister MEG said that she was worried that friends or colleagues would learn that she is treated because of mental illness, and then they will never see him in the same condition again. The family now believes that he has suffered for years, although he did not want to share it even with the people he loved the most.

Please, Lois says: “Don’t stop it for yourself.”

Anyone who is struggling with mental health and suddenly overwhelming questions about their own goal or self -esteem, Sexons promise:

Your life is of great size and great importance for others in a way that in the midst of great pain can be difficult to notice – and there are ways of immediate help.

The nationwide hotline for suicides and crises can be obtained at 988. The hotline of crisis services is available at the 24-hour number 716-834-3131. The coalition website to prevent suicides in Erie, containing many resources, is: suicocyteventionecny.org.

On Sunday, Sexons will light a candle during the game in Buffalo-Kansas City and think about Kevin. He always liked Billów, but they said that his brother -in -law Nate, from Amherst, really raised him in the fervent loyalty to Bill.

Kevin had a lot of Bills equipment, including the Bills winter hat, which he loved, and which is now standing in the Sexon salon. He was a special fan of Tyrod Taylor, a quarterback, who eventually led Bills to the playoffs, although after Taylor’s departure he quickly made friends with Josh Allen, appreciating both his talent and grace.

Siblings Sexton laughs like Kevin – who was the Commissioner of the Fantasy Football Football ESPN Family League – he smolder after his younger brother Robbie chose Allen, which meant that Kevin had to settle for another playmaker.

The agreement was so formal that after Kevin’s death, Katie had to contact ESPN to officially change the Commissioner. The family made a common decision: they will not only keep the Kevin team, but they will guarantee that he will be a champion this season.

Robbie gave the 17th place in the composition of his older brother.

Kevin’s wake up took place on November 3, which accidentally coincided with the key Buffalo rematch with Miami. The family asked everyone to come in Bill’s costumes. A seemingly endless crowd expressed respect, and many visitors often glanced at the nearby hall, in which the TV showed live broadcast.

In the late afternoon the premises were completely filled. The Sextons team was on the pitch for the last seconds of the match, when Tyler Bass from the Buffalo team scored from a distance from 61 yards.

He drilled it. The place was roaring. People cried, and dozens of hands rose into the air. Although at the moment it may seem unlikely, Sexons ask you to understand:

This meant that Kevin, as always, just appeared.