The funeral director (31) talks openly about famous mistakes with cremation; wants to maintain his grandfather’s industry legacy

LIFE 24/7 AROUND DEATH

While Mrs. Tee spends time with her family each week and tries to put her baby to bed, she must sacrifice family time for work.

She is sensitive to calls because the Harmony Funeral Care hotline is her cell phone number. For years, Mrs. Tee has always answered the phone on three rings. When it is busy, an employee helps operate the hotline and responds with the same speed.

I was surprised when she answered my call before the first ring, hoping to schedule an interview, used to people taking a little longer to answer calls.

“People want someone who cares to send their loved one away. And showing that you care is available 24/7 and as quickly as possible,” she explained.

However, this has taken a toll on her social life as she sacrifices time with family and friends for funerals. Even if she manages to meet them, she might have to run away halfway if she gets calls from work.

Work also presents us with challenges.

“Sometimes the family also has a different opinion about sending a funeral. I do not get involved in this and I always warn them that this is a matter that they must settle on their own,” she added. “The only thing I can do is advise.”

Since the mistake, it has established additional standard operating procedures to ensure this does not happen again. This includes asking family members to write on plastic tags placed on the family member’s wrists and ankles and submit photos of the body being collected as part of the verification process.

She said standard operating procedures for funeral rites are rare in the industry. She recalled having to take notes on arranging funerals for different religions and learning from observations. Most practitioners in the industry have their own way of doing things and learn from observation, she told me.

“Nowadays, death is not so scary, and we get quite a lot of people who want to try their hand at this industry,” she said. “But there is no proper guide or information about what it is like to enter the funeral area.”

That’s why Mrs. Tee decided to write a book in which she details her experiences in conducting funerals for different age groups, her observations about the industry and overcomes her mistakes and challenges.

She also details some of the most difficult funerals she has had to organize, such as children’s funerals and suicide funerals.

“This book is really about educating the public, making them aware and aware that such funerals happen and everyone is struggling with difficulties, so let’s be a little nicer,” she said.

The self-published book titled Echoes of Farewell will be released on December 7.

Perhaps it would be a good guide for her son if he wanted to join his parents in the funeral industry in a few decades. While Ms Tee said she would support him, she said she was also open to him exploring other careers and interests.

“In the end, he is his own person and should choose what he wants to pursue,” she said.

As we talked about the taboos around death, I bluntly asked if she had thought about or planned her own funeral. Mrs. Tee laughed and said she definitely did.

“When you’re surrounded by death and you’re helping people prepare for their own funerals, you can’t help but think about your own,” she said.

“I want something simple. Nothing extravagant. Just burn me and move on. Because I prefer to live in the moment and to the fullest – and I have already spent all this time with my loved ones.

WHERE TO GET HELP

Samaritans of Singapore hotline: 1767

Institute of Mental Health hotline: 6389 2222

Singapore Mental Health Association Helpline: 1800 283 7019

You can also find a list of international helplines Here. If someone you know is at immediate risk, call the 24-hour emergency service.