A Tauranga man jailed for sexually assaulting a woman after an incident at work is keeping his name secret

Warning: This story contains details of sexual assault and may be disturbing.

“Living in a world where you are afraid to close your eyes and relax before sleep is not a pleasant world.”

That’s what a woman told a 45-year-old man who sexually assaulted her while she was sleeping at a friend’s house after a work event.

Although Judge Bill Lawson refused to permanently suppress names when the man was sentenced in the Tauranga District Court on Friday, his name still cannot be released after he said he planned to appeal.

A jury found him guilty earlier this year after hearing how a woman went to sleep at a friend’s house but woke up to find he had sexually harassed her.

She described his attack as “one of the most extreme violations a human being can endure.”

The physical and emotional consequences were severe – she was unable to sit comfortably for several days after the attack, and she was in pain when she went to the police station and underwent medical examination.

She had bruises and still had scars from the man’s “nails digging into her.”

“It’s a constant reminder of what happened to me, and it haunts me every time I look in the mirror.”

Her husband and young children were also affected.

“This has deprived our children of valuable time with their mother,” she said.

“I used to be very involved in their studies and activities, but now I rarely get to pick them up or drop them off at school.”

They lost the “carefree, happy mother they once knew” who sometimes struggled to get out of bed and constantly feared for their safety.

“They wake me up at night, scared and needing comfort, and then they meet my mother, who herself is afraid that they will wake her up.”

This affected her relationship with her husband as “the joy of (their) relationship was overshadowed by painful memories of rape.”

“I know it affected him tremendously. “It’s not easy to live with the knowledge that another man raped your wife in such a horrible way.”

The woman said the trial had re-traumatized her, but she wanted to make sure the man would never do something like that again.

She asked Judge Lawson “for justice.”

“Not only for me, but for my family whose lives have changed irreversibly,” she said.

“I am also asking that you provide (the man) with the help he needs so that he never does this again.”

Speaking to NZME after the verdict, the woman said she hoped other women would feel encouraged to speak out if they have been victims of sexual assault.

“I hope this gives other people hope and helps someone else stand up for themselves,” she said.

Although she felt it would be easier to avoid a lawsuit, it was the right decision to ensure that there were no more victims.

Her advice to survivors of sexual violence was to “stay strong.”

“Get support, get advice, contact Tautoko Mai (Sexual Harm Support)… be kind to yourself and just do the right thing by yourself and others.”

She was relieved that the court process was over and she could “now start getting her life back on track.”

“Get the fuck away from me”

A jury found a man guilty of a sex crime as a result of illegal sexual intercourse.

During the trial, the court heard that a working event had taken place at Tauranga Races.

After the races, a group of colleagues, friends and neighbors went to one of the houses to have drinks and eat by the bonfire outdoors on a typical summer evening.

The victim, who was associated with the workplace and was friends with the homeowner, stated that he had a good time hanging out with longtime friends and people he had just met.

Her husband left the meeting early, but she stayed.

The meeting continued with more drinks and celebrations, and several people stayed home after midnight.

The woman stated that she was very drunk and had difficulty remembering much of the evening.

She went to sleep in one of the spare rooms, but woke up in the morning when the man “forcibly” raped her.

In her video evidence for police, she said that when she realized what was happening, she kept thinking, “Say something, say something,” before using her most “strict” voice to say, “Get the f**k away from me.”

She heard him panting and breathing heavily as he raped her, but he stopped and “ran” after she told him to leave.

When she woke up the next morning, she went to the bathroom in pain and thought, “What the hell, did that really happen?”

Defense lawyer Craig Tuck said the incident was an “absolute fantasy” and the woman had made it up.

The defense didn’t argue that it happened and she agreed to it – rather, it simply didn’t happen at all.

Tuck stated that her testimony could not be relied upon due to the “almost unbelievable” amounts of alcohol she drank which affected her memory. He also noted the lack of DNA in the physical examination.

After approximately eight hours of deliberation, the jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict.

“She had the right to feel safe.”

In passing the sentence, the judge referred to the man’s letter expressing remorse.

“This clearly shows that you accept that you have insulted the victim in this way and accept that you have caused him physical and emotional trauma.”

The judge said people close to him described him as “a gentle person, generous and willing to help others.”

But he also had problems in his upbringing, such as ADHD, difficulties in school, a head injury as a teenager and substance abuse. The judge accepted the psychotherapist’s report, which suggested that some of these factors may have had a causal relationship with his crime.

Judge Lawson said the woman was in an environment where she had a right to feel safe.

“You were both taken to separate rooms and she had the right to expect to remain in that room free from any interference or contact from you,” he said.

“You took advantage of her sensitivity. You were seriously penetrating her…while she was sleeping or passed out. You held her in place to let this happen.”

The judge took seven years and four months’ imprisonment as a starting point. He gave the man a 5 percent discount for repentance.

“An expression of remorse shows that you have thought this through carefully… You have accepted that your behavior had a significant impact on the victim,” Judge Lawson said.

“Very often in such cases, victims are left in a state of doubt because the defendants maintain their innocence and do not accept the verdict. Here you accepted what you did.”

The man also offered compensation for emotional harm in the amount of $2,500. The judge said that while this could not compensate for the financial losses suffered by the woman and her family, it was a manifestation of her expressed remorse.

The man also received a 10 percent discount due to external factors.

He received a final sentence of six years and three months in prison and was ordered to pay $2,500 for emotional harm.

*This story originally appeared on Herald of New Zealand.

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